Being a New Mum and Navigating Social Media
Motherhood changes a woman in several ways, including how they navigate social media. From dealing with unsolicited advice to the FOMO you may experience, let’s look at some things to keep in mind when you’re a new mum. Also, learn how you can get more IG likes via ViralGrowing.
The Bad of Being a New Mum
Let’s get the bad news out of the way first. You may experience many negative emotions when being on social media, such as:
The Mum Guilt
This happens because you compare yourself to what others are posting on social media. Your friends may post selfies where they look perfect, while you're a mess with bags under your eyes and a tangled jungle of hair. Everyone has the perfect family photo and the perfect, clean room, while your entire life is a mess. You may start comparing your own kids to others, such as seeing a friend's kid begin to walk before yours.
Social media tends to give us a false impression of others. Many love to post a skewed version of their lives on Facebook and other platforms. That clean room may have taken hours to clean, and then after the picture was snapped, it got messy again. That’s something you must remember.
FOMO
The fear of missing out (FOMO) is another challenge you'll face on social media. You open up Facebook, and your friends without kids, or your parent friends who have their ducks in a row, are all enjoying summer. They're at beaches, going to Disney World, or traveling to exotic locations. Meanwhile, you're wondering if you'll ever get a day off again. While this sounds silly, FOMO is serious and can give you anxiety and depression. Once again, social media gives us a skewed impression of people's lives. For all you know, this was their first vacation in a long time, but their profile makes it look like every day is a vacation.
Unsolicited Advice and Scolding
Finally, social media brings another challenge: everyone is an expert. No matter what you're doing, you're doing it wrong. You should be feeding the baby at this time, not that. You're not sleeping enough or sleeping too much.
Some unsolicited advice comes from a good place; a person genuinely wants to help you, even if you didn't ask for it. However, some just like to scold. They get off telling you why you're wrong and why you should be doing things their way! And it can be frustrating to keep you cool and not make it look like you're having an online meltdown.
The Good of Being a New Mum
With that said, there are many benefits of being a new mum and visiting social media. These benefits include:
Finding Community
It can be challenging to make time for your friends, especially if none of them are parents. But on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and other platforms, you can find communities of new mothers. Whether it's around the world or in a local area, you can befriend these new mums, trade routines, and even become friends in real life. No matter what time of day it is, it's easy to visit these communities and ask a question or vent if you need to.
Getting Help
People want to help you when you're a new mother, especially in local Facebook Groups. You may find people giving away diapers and formula for free, or people may come and offer to babysit whenever you need it. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask.
Monetising Yourself
You may want to start a blog about being a new mum, whether writing traditional blog posts or making TikToks. This can attract a new audience and make extra money through ads or influencer deals. Being a mom can be expensive, so you should look for any financial opportunity that you can.
How to Survive Social Media as a New Mum
With all that said, how can you get more of the good in social media, and reduce the bad? Here are some ways.
Reduce Screen Time
There’s a lot of discussion online about screen time, but it mainly relates to kids. But mums should lower their screen time as well. Too much social media can be harmful to your mental health, make it difficult to get some rest, and give you a skewed perception of reality. If you find yourself doomscrolling, it's time to shut off your phone and do something more productive. You may use an app that gives you a screen time limit on your phone or computer. This also sets an excellent example for your kid, who may find it hypocritical that you give them only so much screen time when you're on your phone all day.
Feel Free to Mute
The mute button is your friend when you're on social media. If someone keeps posting about their vacations, you may feel happy for them, but it's not making you happy. Muting (or unfollowing on Facebook) can remove their posts from your feed while remaining friends and followers.
Handling Unsolicited Advice and Scolders
Remember, most unsolicited advice comes from a good place. Give a firm "We'll consider that" if someone tells you what to do with the baby. This acknowledges the advice but also indicates to the person that you're not interested.
You can also create a status saying that you don't like unsolicited advice and add that to any post you make about your kids. Setting your boundaries outright is important.
Also, keep an open mind. Sometimes, the advice you get is actually good. Other parents may know what they’re doing, especially if they have more experience.
As for the scolders, though, stand your ground. If someone is trying to make you feel awful, ignore or block them. Do not accept abuse from anyone. If it’s someone you respect, be firm on how you don’t appreciate their words, and they may realise their mistake. If it’s a troll, don’t feel bad about blocking the person.