How to Better Include your Child’s Grandparents in their Lives
It is the age of the grandparents, so the media suggests. The role of grandparents in young people’s lives is said to be more critical than ever. Whether it is the impact of the pandemic or the cost-of-living crisis, we are turning more and more to our mums and dads to care for the kids.
For grandparents, there can be nothing better than seeing their grandchildren often. Quality time with youngsters, without the pressure of parenthood, is a delight. The young people, too, benefit from time with older relatives, as they gain more security and a richer opportunity for personal growth.
For some, however, understanding how to include a grandparent in a child’s life is not straightforward. Here we offer some simple solutions to common barriers.
Make your home grandparent friendly
Small and thoughtful decisions around your home can make it easier for grandparents to pop around. Some grandparents may be older and struggle with steps or getting through narrow gaps. Therefore, removing unnecessary floor coverings, putting handles in bathrooms, and keeping a path clear through the home can make it easier for them to come over and enjoy your children’s company. It might not be as big an investment as a stairlift or ramp, but instead, small details that make your home more welcoming.
Regular contact
Bonding your child to their grandparents requires proximity and regular access. The closer the distance between you and your parents, the more likely your children will connect deeply with them. Usually, a bond is broken when physical distance is a barrier. It could also be a consequence of your relationship status with your partner, as divorce is a common reason regular access is unavailable.
While it sounds obvious to suggest that regular close contact is the answer, it can be challenging to arrange. There comes the point when there needs to be a conscious effort to send out invitations and to set up routines where this contact is available, such as a Friday afternoon lunch meet-up or plans to take a short walk in the park together.
Share family stories
Helping your children know your parents can build a bridge between generations. Better still, asking the grandparents to tell stories that define your family can be a decisive bonding moment. Your history with your parents will sound magical to your children and likely improve your relationship with your children too.
Family stories are also a great way to harness the wisdom of the older generation for your children. A quick story can help a child learn how to live their lives the best way.
Photos and traditions
It might not be possible for grandparents to be around every day. There might be a distance between you and them, or they could experience challenges that stop them from engaging as much as they want.
In these situations, you can involve them by placing their photograph around the home and showing children they are a part of their lives. You can also encourage remote conversations using technology so that there is always some facetime between the generations.
As well as keeping the image of grandparents vital in the child’s mind, you can share family traditions. For instance, if you always baked a Christmas cake with your mum, then bake one with your children and tell them you did this when they were their age.
You can also create new traditions. For instance, if grandma has a fancy car, going for a drive with her at certain points could become a new thing your family does.
Ask the children and grandparents how they would like to be involved.
The best idea is to sit down with the children and grandparents and work as a team to decide what the involvement can be. Encouraging everyone to imagine how grandad and grandma can be involved means there will be buy-in and a shared expectation. While you don’t want to give the illusion that the children are the decision-makers, you can allow them to express opinions.
Celebrate Grandparents’ Day
Grandparents’ Day was designed to deepen the bond between generations when life got more disjointed. In the past, families would live close to each other, and it was taken for granted that grandparents would be deeply involved. However, in recent times, this expectation has lessened as we have lived further away from one another.
Consequently, on Grandparents’ Day each year, make a particular effort to celebrate their role in your children’s lives. You set the tone for this, and the children will follow the routine as they grow older. Encouraging youngsters to build a habit of celebrating their grandchildren will help them to take responsibility as they grow older.
Summary
There is much you can do to facilitate the bridge between generations in your family. The rewards are immense, and there is pleasure in witnessing the love between your parents and your children. Wisdom can also be passed down to aid your children into adulthood.